Reasons to be Proud of Yourself

 

Happy 2021 everyone! Okay, I know we're already two months into the new year but hey, spending all day, every day at home means that weeks and months cease to exist! The start of this year has been tough for everyone, and I've been trying to put my best foot forward and stay positive but it's hard to do that all the time. We all have down days and I've personally been struggling to navigate graduate life from my bedroom. I had my online graduation in December, but it feels like it never really happened. What should have been a celebration of one of my biggest achievements just slipped by in the haze of covid and lockdowns, and I felt sad that I wasn't in Birmingham with my pals. Celebrating achievements from home is strange and it made me think of how I haven't fully appreciated everything I've achieved over the years. I know I should be proud of everything I've done, but at times it's all too easy to see the things you haven't achieved yet. I'm still looking for a permanent job, I don't yet know how to drive, I need to learn how to cook more than one meal... this is turning into looong list. Lockdown at least has given me the chance to sit down and think about all the things, no matter how small, that I'm proud of. 

Feeling proud of a university degree 

With many people nowadays having a university degree, it has become the standard achievement of most people in their early twenties - knowing that other applicants to that dream job you're applying for will all have a degree too, can sometimes make your achievement feel a tad insignificant. If everyone you know has been to university, then your experience can't be special surely? I think we've been encouraged to think of university as a stepping stone into adulthood, but not as three/four years of hard work. Okay, maybe first year involves going out more than what's good for you, but completing a university degree shouldn't feel like a small achievement. You're no longer being handheld through assignments like you would be at school, and most of us are moving away from home for the first time, so having to deal with homesickness and loneliness as well as getting work done is no mean feat. My brother and I were also the first members of our family to go to university, and being from a working-class background, that's something I don't credit myself enough with. I had no one to compare experiences with, and it felt like a big leap.

University also involves many moments of doubt and panic, when you're struggling to stay on top of all the reading and work you have to do or feeling like you'll never make any friends. Recognising how you coped during these moments is a good way of reflecting on how you've faced change previously. I loved my undergraduate degree, but I was often disappointed with my marks and I remember feeling disheartened that the only module I got a first in was an English Language module, which had little relevance to the rest of my course. I only just managed to get the marks needed for entry onto the MA course I wanted to study, and I spent the first semester of my postgrad worrying that I wasn't good enough to be there. I contemplated dropping out over Christmas and I made the mistake of looking at the overall marks on one of my modules and found that I had got the lowest mark in the class, but prior to looking, I was happy with it. Instead of feeling proud of myself, I was upset that I had the lowest mark and that effected my confidence going into my next assignments. I should have felt proud of all my hard work and in hindsight, I should never have looked at the group marks. However, it made me determined to put every effort into the final months of my course. I persevered and finished my MA in the midst of the pandemic, and to my amazement, my final two essays and dissertation were the best three marks I had achieved throughout my four years at university. If I hadn't pushed myself to finish my MA, I would never have known how much I could achieve and I'm not embarrassed to say that I'm so damn proud of myself for it!

Feeling proud of how we cope with adversity

During this Covid-era, it's so important to credit yourself with your ability to get up on a morning and start the day. Having goals for the week has helped me focus my mind on something, instead of feeling restless constantly. Whether my weekly goal is to apply for a certain job, cook a meal for the first time, or even just to learn a new piece on the flute, tasks like these help me to structure my day and I feel a sense of achievement when I reflect on everything I have managed to do in a week.

Adversity comes in many forms, and you will have faced so many personal and professional challenges prior to the pandemic. I find it comforting to think about how I have overcome my own challenges because it reminds me that even in my darkest moments, I made it through and achieved things I never thought possible. Losing my dad is a good example of this because I was hit with such an overwhelming sense of grief when I was only 15 years old. Reflecting on that time of my life, I now believe I didn't seek the amount of support I perhaps should have. I bottled up a lot of my grief for a long time, but I got through it and I finished school with great grades and I got into university. I have tended to look back at this thinking that I acted in the only way I could. I simply got on with everything. But actually, there were a series of decisions I made that I can be proud of. I still showed up to school, even though I didn't have many friends and was struggling to come to terms with my loss. The piano lessons my dad had encouraged me to participate in were continued and I practiced every day. I read lots and engaged with the world. I revised hard for exams and took dancing lessons. All of this I did because I wanted to make my dad proud, but also because I made a choice to live my life and not crumble. You might not have experienced these exact circumstances, but we can all appreciate the traumatic and difficult times we have endured and persevered through. Knowing that even through the worst of times, we made it through and chose to be positive can only inspire us now.

Feeling proud of our personal growth

Personal growth means different things to different people and is often a consequence of change. As we grow up and mature, we change as a result of our experiences. No one is the same person they were at 16 years old, and whether you have worked hard at improving particular skills over the years or changing your mindset into being more positive, every aspect of personal growth deserves to be thought of as an achievement. When I was young I was shy and introverted, which made meeting new people daunting. Throughout school I struggled to make lasting friendships, believing that if people didn't want to be friends with me, it was my fault. But as I got older, I realised we're not going to be best friends with everyone we meet and that's okay. It has nothing to do with you being unworthy of someone's friendship, and honestly, if people don't want to be friends with you, then it's seriously their loss. This feeling of loneliness at school has shaped who I am today because I knew that if I wanted to make friends and meet new people I actually had to go out there and actively seek them. I joined societies at university and pushed myself to go up to people and start conversations, something that my 15-year-old self would have never have had the courage to do. I'm proud of myself for doing that, for pushing myself out of my comfort zone and it's a personal achievement that helps to put in perspective how I've changed. Evaluating our personal growth is a great way of thinking about times when we've done something that's scared us. It could be something as simple as signing up to do something you've never tried before or applying to a dream role that seems out of reach. 

Thinking about everything you've achieved and the moments in your life when you felt proudest can be such a good way of turning your negative thoughts into positive ones. I'm my own worst critic and I spend a lot of my time talking myself out of things because I'm worried I'll fail or not be good enough. Spending time appreciating how I've got where I am today, the choices I've made, and what I've learned along the way has helped me to be proud of myself every day.